In Heather's Forbe's most recent e-newsletter (October 11, 2013), she reminds us that "It is not up to us to make our children better [because] the reality is that we cannot change or fix another person." Instead, she tells us what we can do. "We can surround them with support; we can love them unconditionally, free of judgment or control; we can set appropriate boundaries, and we can align with their pain." She tells us that if we do that, we are doing everything we can for our children and the rest is up to them. 

What do you think? In my parenting course, Changing Your Lenses, I use the same mantra, yet people always challenge me on this. Many parents are worried about the future and often say, "What will my child be like in the future if I don't strictly discipline him today?"

I respond with two comments: First, if what you are doing now is working, why are you at this parenting course? I know, it's a little cheeky, but it does get people to think. Second, if you are so worried about the future, then you are missing the present. Today is when your child needs your "support, your attention, and your unconditional acceptance." If you give your child that today, odds are in your child's favour of being ok in the future. 

I know parenting is hard today. There are so many different theories and so many different opinions that it can be confusing what to do. Especially when you use a philosophy that is not one of the better know ones. Be prepared to hear something like, "Aren't you going to do something about her behaviour" or "He's never going to learn if you don't stop that behaviour now." But you may know something that many others don't. You may just have a bit of knowledge that others are yet to gain. 

All I can tell you is that every time I share a little about Heather's philosophy with struggling parents, I receive very quick feedback of the changes in their kids' behaviour. Would I make that up? Absolutely not!

Be good to yourself, be good to your kids and check out Heather's newsletter on our facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/AdoptionSource?ref=hl